Prompt #42 - You know your strengths? Use them!
Lean into your best character strengths to boost your well-being
If I asked you to describe your best friend's best qualities, would you find it hard to list them? Of course not. How about your spouse? Pretty easy. What about your colleagues? Still relatively straightforward.
Now what about yourself? What are your main character strengths? Most people find this question much harder than the previous ones. Our minds are so busy pointing out what we need to improve, that we overlook what we're good at.
We try to find happiness by fixing and optimising ourselves. “I'll be so much happier when… I finally manage to keep my house cleaner / I get fitter / I stop making so many mistakes / I'm less socially awkward.” But we're going about it all wrong.
There is plenty of research that shows that knowing and using your core strengths makes you happier and generally more satisfied with life.
The Activity: Identify your core strengths and track your daily use
To accompany this exercise, please enjoy the eternal wisdom of my all-time favourite badass Pink:
Step 1 - Identify your Strengths
I've mentioned this test before, so if you haven't already taken it, please take a few minutes to fill out the VIA Strengths Survey here:
It's straight from the scientific cradle of Positive Psychology, it's free, and I felt like it really managed to “get me” when reading through my answers. So go ahead.
You will receive a list of 24 character strengths, ranked in order from strongest to weakest. The top 5 represent your core character strengths. Your own super special sauce.
Step 2 - Apply Daily
Now that you know what your strengths are, see how you can use them more often in your daily life. Especially when facing high-stress situations or problems, try figuring out how using your strengths could help you turn things around.
For example, let's say you're nervous before a big meeting. Your mind is going on about all the things that could possibly go wrong. But instead of going down that rabbit hole of anxiety, you use your strength of curiosity to wonder and find out who the people are that you're meeting. What are their challenges and concerns. How can you help them out. And there, you're already a lot more relaxed.
Try to find small ways to apply a healthy dose of your strengths whenever you can.
Step 3 - Track it
In your journal or a piece of paper, create a table with 5 columns and 30/31 rows (depending how many days are in the month). Number your rows, and write your core strengths as the headings of each column.
At the end of each day, fill in the strengths that you have used that day.
Tracking it this way will allow you to realise if and how you can use your strengths more often, and maybe even find correlations between using them and how you are feeling.
Bonus: If you've caught the tracking bug, why not add a Mood Tracker column as well to note how you felt that day?
My Example
My core strengths are Curiosity, Humour, Love of Learning, Hope, and Forgiveness. (Creativity is #6 on the list, I swear).
Yesterday was a “didn't do very much” kind of day and it shows. Sitting on the sofa watching Netflix is not really a great place to apply your strengths. And to be honest, it didn't make me feel as great as "doing nothing” is supposed to.
Today was much better. We went out for breakfast at a place that is always busy but doesn't take bookings. I remained optimistic we'd get a table (Hope), and we did. We had fun and good conversations with friends (Curiosity, Humour). I did some research for this newsletter, and my Duolingo lessons (Love of Learning). I'm pretty optimistic that my daughter will spend a full week going to preschool next week (Hope).
The one strength I'm not worried about is Forgiveness. With a toddler and a dog and the beautiful mess they create on a daily basis, Forgiveness is a muscle I get to flex pretty much every day.
Let me know how you've used some of your strengths this coming week.
Love, Lorena
Not much of a tracker, but let's give this a try! 💪